un dau tri pedwar pump

A lazy one inspired by Alabaster

5 Things Found in your Bag

• 5 tickets to a club night called Chat Noir
• a pen
• a book
• a stone
• a key

5 Favourite Things in your Room

• a collection of long sticks from various walks, poking out here and there
• an old large-ish mirror, which is cracked in one corner, but I found it on the side of the road so can’t complain
• a set of blue beads - those ones you normally hang over doorways (but these are now hung over my bed), also found on the side of the road
• my oversized alarm clock, a traditional silver job with a large face and bell, only massive.  It looks like something out of Alice in Wonderland
• a giant dog

5 Things you have always wanted to do

• Ride a horse everywhere
• Live on a canal boat
• See the northern lights… in Norway, in a boat on a fjord
• Play the violin properly
• Sing in a band {not just so that I can pretend I’m P J Harvey}

5 things you are currently into

• Merlin and his crystal cave
• Fantasising about different life scenarios.  One of which involves changing my name to Brodey and going on the run after some hideous crime, with my two comrades Agatha and Lance.  We would stow away on a ship to the deep south and be cowboys.  We’d hustle, we’d wear cowboy hats, have specialist weapons and we’d play cards and drink whisky in whore houses.
• Moody music
• Taking tea with the Dutchess
• Riding my bike

5 people you want to tag

I don’t know that many people with blogs, and the ones I do probably wouldn’t want to do this… so I’ll tag

• Merlin
  and
• Norman, the senile old man a few doors down who sweeps the pavement and traps you in weird conversatioins about how you shouldn’t have wax in the house

Okay, I guess I need some real people here

• Babychaos
• Euny
• Simplybob

be constructive with your blues

Well… About as far as I’ve got with that little line is watching these, I didn’t construct them with my blues… Someone else did, possibly with their own blues… and reds and purples and yellows and greens

ahhhhhh a happy ending

I’d like a kitten in my top pocket, but only if it was as well behaved as that one…you could take it to work, or the pub or just stroke it while you watch telly.  Heh…

And one day I’d pull off my shirt to reveal a massive W that gave me Superhero powers of flight.  I’ll be fantasizing about living in a cartoon from now on then.

—————-
Now playing: Radiohead - Fog
via FoxyTunes

~warning~

Listening to the Blade Runner soundtrack as you fall asleep, makes you feel as though you’re never going to wake up again. Seriously.
Try it, it’s scary.

I am very tired…and yet I’m scared of giving in because the music’s so ominous… So like a soundtrack to your own personal and never-ending, distorted dream-like reality… Where giant bees land on your back and chest in swarms and heavily vibrate to weigh you down until you can’t breathe, and then like bracelets on your arms until the pressure gets too much and you have to stop moving. *Actual dream experience*

So if this is my last post forever, you’ll know what’s happened to me.
—————-
Now playing: Vangelis - Tears In Rain
via FoxyTunes .

Happy 45th day of the year

DISCLAIM-ERE - what follows is actually a comment I left on Mr Crippens’ page

However, after reading it back to myself I realised that it echoes my sentiments about this day rather well, and I’d like to moan about it in my own little space {with embellishments and more swearing}

Ideally on valentines day you’d wanna stay in bed all day showing your love to your loved one and then get a takeaway showing your love of the others stomach and get them to pay for it thereby them showing their love of your stomach…and purse.  But then I like food and sex, and this should be done at any given opportunity, not just Feb 14th.

It would disappoint me greatly if I was with someone who bought me a teddy from co-op with a heart in its hands {which is actually a lot darker than we all seem to realise},  I’d be insulted that they hadn’t been able to at least think of something a little bit original, if they wanted to spend money at all I mean.

I think somewhere beneath my cynical exterior there is a romantic, but it would be hard to melt through, it would have to be done in such a finely tuned way…almost to the point where I didn’t notice it was happening for it to be revealed.  Like an unexpected explosion of romance before I get the chance to think about it and scoff.  Jesus, I sound like a cold hearted bitch.  Ach.  Does anyone wanna buy me some flowers?

It’s funny how most of the women I know are far less romantic than the men…is it just because its what women are supposed to want so the men do romantic things for them or because the men want to express their love in romantic ways? Or find it easier to express those feelings on a given day like Valentines day? Huh? I sound like effing Carrie Bradshaw. *lights up a fag and tosses her long hair whilst crossing her legs and gazing out at the city*

I haven’t even bothered to mention the fact that its all a load of commercial bullshit, which is why my idea of staying in bed with a curry is the best of all the worlds.  Or going out and building a fire to dance around whilst howling at the moon.  You could even burn the teddies from co-op.  All of the above is preferable to blindly and mindlessly feeling your way through life guided by adverts and supermarkets and restaurants and bleeding hearts and fucking Thornton box-sets {I wouldn’t turn a box of Thorntons down however.. See above where sex and food is mentioned}

touch me i’m sick

This isn’t an ode to Mudhoney, although it is a good song -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vRfbk7XKsUU

i just wanted to exclaim loudly that I DO NOT UNDERSTNAD WHY PEOPLE FIND WATCHING {okay too loud} programmes like Holby City and the like entertaining

“OH.. you’ve got cancer? Well.. let’s watch you slowly die over the course of a series”

“Oh you’ve been diagnosed with diabetes? Let’s see how the quality of your life will be reduced until you may go blind and have to become dependant on drugs for the rest of your life”

“Ooops, don’t touch that BBQ! You might end up having to have your hands amputated”

and

“Nurse, this one’s puking, look” and we have to look, and listen.

I don’t get it.

i am an annoying contradiction

is it totally ridiculous to feel lonely but at the same time not want to be in the company of almost anyone? what an annoying contradiction. gah.

misty seeping fog

my head is full of cotton wool. or treacle. or fog. damn i’m gonna search for fog

went out with all the old crew last night. Me, Captain Davey, Holmes, Sely Gnof, Soneti Fach and Steve.  I dont have a nickname for steve.. that says a lot about steve really.  I hope he never reads this.  Let’s just say he’s the type of guy who wears a watch and works for a very large bank and looks at me funny if i groove along to music and sing before the lyrics kick in.  But he does like the super furry animals and is soneti fach’s future husband. 

A last resort for food was Weatherspoons,  (we’d planned to meet in a really cosy covey hobbity viney pub called the Greek {courtyard featuring sunday night ‘jazz’, open fire, creepy landlord,  greek food, perfect} but it was closed.

so we had curry and a pint for a fiver in ’spoons, as they call it.  But the “Welsh Smooth” wasn’t going down well and we left there pretty sharpish because there was no music.

there’s a lack of warm and comfy genuinely nice pubs with good juke boxes in bangor. is that asking too much from a pub? no. 

we ended up in a place called The Waterloo, cos it has a pool table we could dominate {6 people who can barely play} and a jukebox and a sofa and cool dug out almost-tunnels with seats in.  but the lights were permanently on “chuck out time” level, which was very odd and made me feel like i should drink up constantly.

met an odd guy at the bar from islington though, and told him i was from brighton and used to go out with someone from north london.  He stood up and gave me a hug and told me it was wonderful to meet me and shook my hand and kissed my cheek.  and a tall thin blonde balding man in a long black coat and black cap came and terrorised our group whilst drinking half a pint of bailey’s. total welsh guy on the piss, whos jokes quickly got really threatening and aggressive and we all stopped laughing or making eye contact….

i think we pissed off the clientel with our choices of music too. they’d been putting on awful dance music, and they had the volume turned up incredibly loud, to give it that club-like feel.  So we indied it up a lot with jeff buckley..the smiths, pj harvey, david bowie, bronski beat..and i shocked most of the pub by putting on dan deacon woody woodpecker.  insanely loud.  it was brilliant.  i was the only one who thought so.

waited in the cold for my bus home for ages…..in the end had to go find another bus and ask the driver if the number 4 was still running, he was serving a girl and when she turned around we each squealed a loud shocked girly squeal because we hadn’t layed eyes on each other for 5 or 6 years. it was one of those wonderful instant karma moments, or whatever you call them. becasue if i hadnt missed my bus, or chosen that driver to ask then i wouldnt have bumped into the lovely Catrin Bach from my sixform and cardiff days. it made me incredibly happy. sometimes all the pieces fit.

but now i am crawling through fog because i smoked too much last night on arrival at my brothers caravan. it was one of those proper buzzy sinky swimmy rushy stoned feelings that’s hard to sleep through and hard to settle an anxious mind to, unless you think of nothing but apples. which is surprising.

Low, David Bowie - good for dreaming.

til death do us frigging part

boiling the kettle this morning, its one of those ones you leave on the gas ring til it whistles.  Well, when it started whislting, I was in the middle of something else and so let it sing for a bit.  After a short while I stopped noticing it, even though it was wailing away in the background, unbearably whinging, I carried on slowly buttering my toast and fishing out the jam, I could have easily forgotten about tea altogether.  In it reminded me of my parents marriage in a funny way

nadolig llawen

god its been a lonely day.  that’s a shame. maybe i’ll go elsewhere next year. 

the dr who wasn’t as good as last year either…

good things though - ive got some money to fix the violin, and maybe even buy a little casio keyboard like i had when i was little and a drum. and some cds.. and i got a book token, which means i can buy a big fat book on reiki and become a masterful healer : )

does anyone else think stephen merchant is sexy?

ramble on

i still haven’t wrapped my presents but im too stoned to do anything now but smile and type : )

until this evening, christmas has been pretty damn low. but ive been getting high with my brother in the caravan, diving into those german style frosted biscuits, what do you call them… they taste a bit gingery.  when you put them in your mouth they’re chewy and melty and wonderful. and watching father ted and red dwarf. and a film called “Ex” with the guy from scrubs.  It was excellent trash.

I did most of my christmas shopping today in town with my friend yvonne. she’s into fashion, and getting impatient at cafes/restuarants/pubs. she blames it on living in london and getting “excellent service”. she said she couldnt relate to people in wales anymore and i didnt really know what to say, because it doesn’t really make a difference to me what job someone does, or how much money they have or what accent they speak in, they’re still people aren’t they

i sound massively wanky.

and then we talked about the fact that when we’re in our respective cities, we bang on about how much we love wales and miss it and how beautiful it is. but when we get back here everything about it is shit, there are no buses {there are buses but they have weird 2 hour gaps in the timetable at random intervals and always when i want to go to town}, everyone knows who you are, it takes an hour to get anywhere, everyone is aggressive {”get out my way yeh”} and constantly mildly threateneing, probably because they’ve gotta keep their eye open for a fight, its about survivial of the fittest,  and if you sound like a double hard bastard straight away then people won’t wanna fuck with you. {conversly they won’t wanna fuck you either}

but the sea is on my doorstep and the air is sweet and the sky is so incredibly enormous i cant take it all in. and odd locals wish you merry christmas in the street, and old ladies make conversation with you a t the bus stop, and scallies show you magic tricks on the bus and proudly showyou the flowers they just nicked from the spar for their mum.

and now it is time for sleep, with the dog. she’s a great sleeping partner as she doesn’t snore, takes up hardly any room and is like having a teddy bear that moves and is warm and wags its tail.